Instructor
Wayne Dickerson
Professor Dickerson is a specialist in the English sound system and in teaching English pronunciation. In the Division of English as an International Language, he teaches two courses on English phonology (EIL 488, EIL 588) and one course on English Pronunciation (ESL 110/510). He is responsible for developing the Oral Interview of the ESL Placement Test and for training test administrators. More than 50 of his articles deal with the description and teaching of English phonology in ESL/EFL contexts. Two of his textbooks were written for learners of English pronunciation. One of these is used in ESL 110/510, namely, Speechcraft: Discourse Pronunciation for Advanced Learners, and associated workbooks and audiotapes.
You may reach Professor Dickerson in a variety of ways:
| Office | 3039 Foreign Languages Building | Phone Number | 333-6599 |
| Office Hours | 4:00-4:50 Monday and Wednesday
and by special appointment |
Mailing Address
E-Mail Address |
4080 FLB, MC-172 |
Announcements
Some jokes contributed by class members:
1. (My son-in-law is a lawyer; he also appreciates lawyer jokes.)
Two small boys were talking with each other one day:
Tommy: What's your father?
Billy: He's an accountant. And yours?
Tommy: My daddy's a lawyer.
Billy: Honest?
Tommy: No, just the regular kind.
2. Here's another lawyer joke:
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
3. Two mental patients, Tim and Tom, are talking:
-- "Could you tell me what time it is, Tom?"
-- "Yes," Tom replies.
-- "Thank you," Tim says.
4. Q: What's worse than finding a word in your apple?
A: Finding a half a worm.
5. One day a man talked with God. He asked, "Is 1000 years a very short time for you? Like one second?" God answered, "Yes, it is. Like one second to me." So the man asked God, "Then, is 1000 million dollars a very small amount of money for you? Like..one penny?" God answered, "Yes, it is. Like one penny to me." Later, the man asked, "Can you give me a penny?" And God responded, "OK! Just a second!"
6. A frequent instruction in computer manuals is, "Hit any any." So it is not surprising to hear the question from novice computer-users: "Where is 'any key' on the keyboard?"
7. A remarkable genius:
"Did you know I can tell time by the piano?" asked one friend of another.
"You're kidding." replied his companion dubiously.
"I will show you." said the first man, as he sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.
Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting, "Hey, you (curse word) ! Don't you realize that it's 3:00 in the morning?"
8. A Microsoft joke:
A pilot was flying a small plane to the Seattle airport through thick fog. As the visibility was very bad, he began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally he found a tall building and saw a guy. The pilot stabilized the plane, opened the window, and shouted to the guy: "Can you tell me where I am?" The guy shouted back, "You are in a plane." The pilot then turned around, flew for 5 minutes, and landed successfully at the Seattle airport. The passengers were amazed and asked how the pilot did it. The pilot answered, "It is simple. I asked the guy a simple question and was given a 100% correct answer that was totally pointless. So I knew that it was the Microsoft support office, and from there, I could easily find the airport."
9. Q: Why is Alabama the smartest state?
A: Because it has 4 As and only 1 B.
10. Q: What is a polygon?
A: A dead parrot.
11. LEFTOVERS: The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty
years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
12. IT'S TOO FAR: My mother often feeds pigeons in the park near her home in Portland, Maine. One day, when she was feeding the growing flock surrounding
her, a man came over to her. "While you are feeding perfectly good bread to birds," he asked my mother angrily,
"there are people starving in Africa." Mother looked him in the eye and said, "I'm sorry but I can't throw that
far!"
13. A boxer who suffers from insomnia goes to the doctor.
"Doctor, I cannot sleep. What should I do?"
The doctor answers, "That's not a problem. When you go to bed, just try counting, starting with 1, 2, 3, and so on."
"But, that won't work! I wake up as
soon as I reach 9!"
14. "I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman!"
15. A letter from a fool mother to her son:
Dear Son,
I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of the house, so we moved. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don’t get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
16. A man walked into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of noodles for his lunch. He waited for a while and finally a waiter brought the noodles to his table. Just before he started to eat, he saw a fly in the bowl. He waved at the waiter angrily. After a few seconds, the waiter saw him and walked to his table. The waiter asked, "Do you need anything, sir?" "What’s this fly doing in my bowl?" the man asked angrily. Then the waiter looked into the bowl and answered confidently, "Oh! It’s doing the backstroke."
17. Did you hear about the new FedEx-UPS Merger? The new company’s gonna be called FedUp!
This page is for announcements that pertain to Section F only. General announcements that are relevant for all sections of the course are found on the course homepage.
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Instructor Wayne Dickerson |
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