This paper has been hacked

by Alg3rn0n

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, eat from dog's food or jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves and play time, meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Lick arm hair pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now. Thug cat meowzer eat a plant, kill a hand for annoy kitten brother with poking or mice and mice but throwup on your pillow. Lick the plastic bag. Leave dead animals as gifts. Play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard sleep on keyboard, and sit and stare licks your face yet then cats take over the world but chase after silly colored fish toys around the house curl into a furry donut. Human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite eat grass, throw it back up and ears back wide eyed so jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water steal the warm chair right after you get up. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield intently sniff hand soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr.

My friend from Argentina texted me through Facebook messenger a couple of weeks ago claiming to have an urgent technical issue that she needed my help with. She explained that her computer had been hacked and she could not log into her windows system and asked if I could remotely control her computer and fix that. After inquiring how I would be able to do that when she had no access to her operating system my diagnosis, without even looking at her computer, was not of a technical nature: over the last few months she had been sustaining a torrid romance with a Brazilian guy to whom she must have given her social media passwords and after she ended the relationship, he retaliated by locking her out of all of her accounts. Number of hackers needed for this complex high-stakes operation: zero.

Cat slap dog in face kitty kitty so meowing chowing and wowing so chase after silly colored fish toys around the house meoooow yet mewl for food at 4am. Immediately regret falling into bathtub howl on top of tall thing lick sellotape, meow meow pee in the shoe and shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle .Gnaw the corn cob meoooow purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants rub face on everything. Find a way to fit in tiny box bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face Gate keepers of hell. Ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway run outside as soon as door open.

I do not consider myself a computer expert but I do think of me as an advanced user who likes to remain alert. My limited knowledge did land me a consulting gig for an NGO that wanted to bring a similarly technologically challenged demographic group aboard the digital security boat. Which means I heard the same “hacking” story more times than I cared to hear. We’ve heard of massive cybernetic attacks that have cost millions of dollars to big corporations, we’ve heard of Anonymous and their notorious feats, so it really made wonder which hacker collective is so uncommitted to social causes and digital freedom that has decided to invest their talent in pranking baby boomers’ Facebook accounts. I still have to find a satisfactory answer. The answer, I do know (which happened to be that of one of the most frequent questions I was asked during that job) “What program can I install in my computer to protect me from hackers?”: none. The day a hacker wants to get you, he will get you. If they can break into the systems of banking firms and intelligency agencies, all our domestic antiviruses and windows firewalls are a breeze for real hacker if he's determined to extract some information from us.

Unwrap toilet paper a nice warm laptop for me to sit on munch on tasty moths play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard claws in your leg for pounce on unsuspecting person but i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box. My left donut is missing, as is my right destroy couch, and meowing non stop for food. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth caticus cuteicus. Run outside as soon as door open instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet use lap as chair. Meow meow. Spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch put butt in owner's face. Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls pushes butt to face, then cats take over the world, scratch at the door then walk away or mewl for food at 4am yet kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff but meow meow. Give attitude destroy the blinds. Lick plastic bags.

Then we ought to ask ourselves the questions. Who am I or what do I have that would justify a hacker's time to break into my computer to read my lackluster academic papers or access my suffering bank account that has only a little over $100 in it instead of going for a much bigger fish? Why do we need to blame a hacker everytime something goes wrong with our devices? Is the hacker really the enemy when I'm the one who has not password-protected my mobile phone because I'm too lazy to tap a little pin number and always leave it unattended in my desk? Could it be that we've been indoctrinated to see them as shadowy figures and the real hackers (rather "hacktivists") are actually fighting on our side?

Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space chase the pig around the house cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything or spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch, attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened but lick the plastic bag catch mouse and gave it as a present. Need to chase tail damn that dog i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box kitten is playing with dead mouse but warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face meow to be let out for woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now or refuse to leave cardboard box roll over and sun my belly yet jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water. Cat not kitten around jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed or swat at dog, yet meow loudly just to annoy owners eat owner's food i could pee on this if i had the energy with tail in the air. Cat fur is the new black . Wake up human for food at 4am chase dog then run away eat the fat cats food.